New necklaces in our Lego jewelry shop

My father and I collaborate on a little lego jewelry business. He does the designing and creating, and I do the photographing and store running. Check out our store: The Fingerpost Shop on Etsy.
Here are some of our newest designs on a beautiful model!

A heartfelt story for you on the health of change

I stopped riding my bike when my true love, Stephane, broke up with me. It was one of the many changes, including a three month stay in Tokyo, that I made to my life to make it new. I thought, fuck this shit, I'm reinventing EVERYTHING.

Reinvention breathes life into the banal and also seriously heals deep wounds. I'll start biking around Philadelphia again soon enough. I didn't religiously cut it out of my life a year and a half ago. I rode my bike here and there. But I changed my handbag to a more sophisticated one that wouldn't hang across my back, took on a wide leg jean as my signature look, and decided to dress up, so that I'd feel stronger. The jean couldn't easily be tucked in to be protected from the bike chain, so out went the bike.

My new look provided a strong enough feeling of escape from my usual experience as Brae to warrant the change, and riding public transportation gave me new things to see and think about. I needed to see in a new way. I aimed to discover something enlightening, redefine my desires, in fact, become a different version of myself. Part of this was the old symptom of depression; disowning the self, but also present was my ferocious optimism. My fighting spirit wasn't dead.

The most uplifting thing I'd say to myself throughout the freezing, painful days I dragged myself through last winter was:

Today I'm fighting for my joy.

And then sometimes angrily:

No one can interfere with my joy. It's all mine.

That one was helpful but more reactionary. I'd recite these mantras not because they were true, but because I wanted them to be true.

A year and a half later I've slowly gathered my joy back, and it feels richer now. Richer because my empathy has grown through experience and because I'm settling back into a strengthened, more confidant version of myself. Cliches helpfully sum up human experience sometimes:
Shit that doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'm happy that's true. And I like applying cliches to my life because they help me take myself less seriously. We're all in this together, right?

I'm settling back into this stronger version of myself and am returning to some of my old interests that I'd temporarily disowned. The bright colors are returning to my wardrobe. I'm making photographs more often. I don't need cigarettes anymore because I'm not in survival mode. I'm in living mode.

It's funny the self-seriousness depression causes. But it's quite real.

I pulled through mine by making intentional changes in my life, both simple and serious. The changes broadened my perspective. I'm a firm believer in the principle of reinvention to open the mind.

I will ride my bike again when the spring comes.

And I'm grateful for the remnants of changes I made; an excellent addition to my limited shoe collection of expensive black leather boots, a nice assortment of Mac make-up which helped me feel more confidant, a small library of books by Thich Naht Hanh, my resolution to worry less about social engagements and more about centered and calm solitude, my new house mate, and Tokyo's influence on me from the three months I spent there. All of these new things and experiences helped strengthen my heart and refocus it on something other than its brokenness.

Life's fun and interesting and weird. Cheers!

a morning walk in frigid South Philly

Went to breakfast with my housemate David and his (and now my) buddy Noah. We snapped some fun photos on the walk back home.




photos by David Schrott, except the one that I took.

a spot for peace

A few days ago I made a small prayer and meditation spot in my living room, which also happens to be my bedroom. My apartment in Philadelphia is quite tiny, and quite cozy. I've got no complaints.

I've been reading a lot of books by the Buddhist monk Thich Naht Hahn lately and after a year of meaning to, I've finally decided to designate a space for peace, meditation, prayer, and self collecting. My resolve is to sit here twice a day.

Let me describe this space for you:

On the wall I tacked a hello kitty cell phone charm from Japan. Hello Kitty is dressed as the Statue of Liberty and she is a little bell. So she functions as my mindfulness bell. I ring her to begin my time of peace.

There are some beads on the wall next to her. It's a bracelet handmade for me by my six year old cousin. They're kind of like rosary beads.

Above these two charms is a quotation from Thich Naht Hahn which says, Peace is every step. A valuble lesson I've learned from Hahn is that peace is available to us in each moment. We can always make the choice to smile, to breathe, and to offer kindness to ourselves and to the people we encounter each day.

I bought the Catholic Jesus candle at the Acme a block away.

There is a little jar that my friend Ida gave me for Christmas, and a fake green flower inside. I would like to buy fresh flowers for this space every few days.

There is also a paintbrush I bought on sale at the Pearl Arts and Crafts store on South Street, which recently had a closing sale. The paintbrush reminds me to see my identity as an artist as a gift. I can get burdened by the stresses and responsibilities of it so easily, but perhaps I don't have to.

An orange scarf that used to belong to my little sister Chalice covers an Aldo shoe box to make the stand.

This place is beautiful to me, and reminds me to come back to myself, to breathe, and to be grateful to God, or to whomever deserves the gratitude.

another delcious din.

I just can't stop cooking. The vietnemese market is only 5 blocks away. I could camp out in that grocery store for a week- I love it there so much! I bought a light pink carrot peeler and the biggest moka espresso maker I've ever seen last week. Just 15 bucks total for both. Here's tonight's supper made almost completely from Hung Vuong ingredients. Frozen vegetable dumplings with a bowl of soy sauce, a hard boiled egg, and linguine with a sauce I made out of coconut milk, peanut butter, chicken stock, and rice vinegar. Fresh basil on top always completes the look and the taste.

and she's back.

Took a three month haitus from blog writing and now I'm back with a vengeance! Actually, I'm back with a lot of joy and ideas. More to come. For now- some snap shots of this evening's dinner.


A salad of fresh spinach, grated carrot, sliced mushrooms, capers, and roasted red pepper dressing.


And then a delicious and inexpensive soup. I bought instant thai tom yum ramen at the Vietnemese grocery store right down the block here in my South Philly neighborhood, cooked it in coconut milk and chicken broth, then added the seasoning packets and topped it with Japanese pickled ginger and fresh basil.

Yum-o.

Below is the instant soup package. It was twenty five cents.



Deeper thoughts coming soon!

Tokyo does Halloween

Went to a Halloween parade in Kawasaki today. Check it!

Creepy Marie Antoinette. Love her.

You'd think there was a plague in Tokyo with about half the people here wearing white hospital face masks. I like this lacy gothic Halloween version of the face mask.

This was my favorite costume today. She's a pile of desserts. And her cold color themed friend is below.

Strawberry crocks and an amazing costume. I'm not sure what she is.

Sequined eyelashes.

They're wearing reflectors. It makes for an interestingly lit image.

Excited cross-dressers. One even got his nails done.

Lil pumpkin boobies!

Super Lovers. From Tokyo with Love.

3 images from Harajuku. It's actually a pretty touristy spot, feeling somewhat
akin to South Street in Philly.